What’s the next right step?
"Put one foot in front of the other, And soon you'll be walking out the door"
- Mickey Rooney
8 months into this pandemic and I am at the thought again, what is the next right step? In this moment, it feels like everything is still at such a standstill. Live entertainment won’t be back in full swing for at least a year and it is quite possible it will be longer. The entertainment industry at times feels more challenging than ever to break into. I am just trying to figure out what the next best step is.
I am torn between hitting pause on the entertainment industry or keep pushing forward. I know that if I chose something different right now I will still create on my blog, YouTube, and the newsletter. Apart of me feels like that decision is me giving up on myself and my dreams. In September I wrote, Stuck, but Moving Forward. I feel I am at that crossroads yet again. Do I take this moment and apply to graduate school? Do I keep holding out hope for the entertainment industry? Either decision I make will be a challenging one because frankly, none of this is easy. Until now, I wasn’t thinking past the date of November 3rd. I thought everything was riding on November 3rd. I had the fear of Trump being reelected and I was hoping Biden would win. Biden did win which makes me feel 1000% better but, now I realize there is still a lot of uncertainty.
After a long while contemplating what life will look like under the Biden administration and how the arts will fair brings up a lot of questions. What is feasible? What will the world look like? How will they function in a pandemic when there are stricter protocols? I can recognize that having these thoughts is a great thing because it means the country will try to handle the COVID-19 pandemic in a better manner. Nonetheless, it does make my stomach drop because I can't just wait it out anymore. I can't wait for the theater doors to open to welcome in an audience because it can be a year or more. I have to take a step. Which direction do I step in? Any step I make is a step forward but I just don't know which path to take.
I have spent numerous hours contemplating what is the "right" decision or what will set me up for the best outcome. In reality, any decision is the right decision in this moment. I can't go wrong because I know that I have to do something. Everything in life is a lesson and I can take something away from any experience and that is something that I constantly need to remind myself. I know it is going to be hard and fraught with emotion but it is what it is.
All I know is that I just need to put one foot in front of the other.
*Waiting for the train much like waiting to take the next step. No more waiting. (Aug. 9, 2019)