"The sun will come up... and we will try again"
- Author Unknown
Winter is never easy for me. Every year I know it will be a challenge especially in the final stretch of the season. The last stretch is the hardest because we have already gotten through so much of winter and yet there feels like ways to go. For me, winter always poses a threat to my mental health and I work immensely hard to combat that. Even in my strongest efforts, I slip into not-so-good days. Seasonal depression takes over and I feel stuck. Sometimes when I voice that winter is hard and it isn't making me feel well, a common response is "well, spring is close." Yes, that is correct that spring is close but, that doesn't change the fact that this is where I am now and where I am now is a bit challenging.
The thing is the current environment that I am surrounded by is immensely dormant. It is sitting there, waiting for life to strike again. The trees, the flowers, and many animals are just waiting for the weather and the sun to give them the queue that spring is here. Since the environment feels so dormant that feeling leaks back to me. I want to crawl back into bed and wait for the spring because it will be a fresh start and the weather will allow the outdoors to be more pleasurable. But, we are not there yet and it is simply just hard right now.
Winter this year has been harder than many others because we aren't able to share space with people comfortably. It is too cold to hang out in a park all day or chill outside at night. We also don't have the ability to go inside other people's homes because of COVID. For me, winter is a time where I need to be surrounded by people more because it helps my mood. The fact that this year I can't do that makes life even more dormant. Life has felt gray this year. I do want to say that even in the gray there has been plenty of beautiful moments but, one beautiful moment doesn't discount what I am feeling.
I know spring is on its way. To start, Ms. Sun has already been sticking around more and more. The days are getting longer and the weather appears to be slowly improving. Each day is one step forward. One step closer to nicer weather and a step closer to being able to hang outside. Every day the sun will come up and we will try again and before we know it, the flowers will bloom.